Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

There’s been a question boggling my brain ever since I was in elementary school and we were teased every year in mo7aram. Why do people think that us shee3a spit on our food bl7sayneya?! Let alone that it is absolutely disgusting, it is NOT true !! :S

I used to think it was a joke some people made around here but I was reading this novel “Girls of Riyadh” the other day and the same point arose. A sunni Saudi Arabian girl was asking her shiite friend why on the tenth day of the first month of the islamic year, the Sayyed or Sheikh in every 7sayneyya or mosque spat in a big pot of rice and it was then given out for people to eat the “blessed” rice. >> It is NOT true. Yes, we make rice and send it out as barakkah because it is prepared to commemorate the battle that happened on the very same day thousands of years ago but it was NOT spat in -.-

A lot of people ask why we commemorate this occasion anyway, saying that “it happened a long time a go so why still cry over it?” .. well, here’s my answer to you:

First of all.. even the jews of that time saw this day as so holy that it was worthy of fasting on that even the Prophet Mohammad PBU preached that we as muslims are more worthy of fasting this day, and that is why it is mosta7ab to fast till noon on the 10th of mo7arram in order to feel with our ancestors the brutal conditions in which they were put through when they were banned from food and water.

Okay, so they did die a long long time ago. BUT, “they” weren’t just anyone! “They” are the family of our Prophet and their death is the reason why we still have a religion that we practice as it was taught by Mohammad PBU. So if we stop appreciating their death and understanding why it happened and if we stop teaching it to our children… then their blood would have been spilt for nothing.

Imam Hussain AS went to battle knowing he was going to die and he took along with him his wives and children. Because he was suicidal and wanted to put his family in harm!? Of course not! He knew that his death would be a victory for islam because people would realize the importance of his grandfather’s teachings when they see that he was prepared to die protecting them. His family had to live through the battle to carry on his legacy and pass their story on from one generation to the next.

..Now, there obviously are reasons to why people misunderstand us shiite and our values.. A big part of that misunderstanding is arrogance and lack of a fully educated mind but there are other reasons as well. Another big reason is, believe it or not, OUR lack of education as well. It is not enough to wear black and cry over their death when an outsider comes and asks about our beliefs and we return THEIR lack of knowledge in our values with OUR arrogance as well. Many times I’ve witnessed myself people being asked about our faith and they either return defensively, or say “we were raised like this”.

Being defensive shuts people out and they may be genuinely interested in understanding us. Following a path just because we were taught to is dumb. No offense. God gave us a brain and there is nothing wrong with asking ourselves why we value what we do. Even the Prophet PBU and the Qura’an said do not explain your arrogance by saying “it is what our fathers and their fathers before them practiced”. We are not all preachers and therefore our minds and knowledge is limited and there is no shame in saying so! It’s better to say “I am not sure but will look into the matter and get back to you” than giving an answer that is either false or shuts off someone who is seeking to understand. Recommend a book or a preacher he/she could ask for an educated explanation from and go find the answer yourself! We are humans and it is only natural to always be in the process of learning.

Another problem that leads our faith into being misunderstood is the media. –Not all media, as we have many channels dedicated to spreading our cause– but for example, every year in the newspaper we see images of bleeding men and children in the act known as ‘ta6beer’. I will not discuss this in depth as I do not wish to insult anyone reading this, but I will endeavor to explain what I know of it.

Ta6beer was taken as a custom from an incident that involved Sayeda Zainab AS when she took a plank and hit her head with it during their time as “sabaya” (prisoners of war) while she gave her speech about her brother Imam Hussein AS and his battle. It is done with a sword that leaves a scar on the top of the head and the blood should be allowed to flow to the neck. (This should be done properly in the presence of doctors) Some people took this act as a custom to express their grief and share Ahl Elbait AS’s pain in that day. However, some shiite condemn this as 7aram because they believe that self inflicted pain is pointless in the cause of Ahl Elbait AS because it changes nothing and that instead of bleeding they should be investing their energy in preaching and following their teachings as closely as possible. They also believe that perhaps Sayedda Zainab AS did this in her time of agony and not to spread a practice.

My point of view, is that each person can decide for themselves what they believe is pointless or not for their own reasons, BUT why make the children bleed? They’re young and their minds are fragile; if they are not made to fully understand why this happens, then they will grow up confused in the concept of violence.

Some argue that they do this as a means to show that they would sacrifice their children for the cause of our religion as well, and some say that this is so that the children grow understanding that their blood is for their religion. I do not judge and I’m sure each point of view has their own argument in which they strongly believe in, and so I will not argue with that.

However, when this custom is incorrectly publicized, we send out the wrong image to those who do not understand our faith. People see us as violent and cruel to our children and many people stray from us because they do not understand what they see. I do not say abandon our values, but spread the knowledge and be educated about what you preach.

We are not terrorists. We are not pro violence. Ahl Elbait AS were preservers of peace and only went to battle as their last resort to defend their religion. For anyone from any race, culture, religion or background, defend your beliefs with knowledge and not arrogance and spread your faith peacefully so that everyone can understand. Do not ever be quick to judge before you seek to first understand and then to be understood. The world is not only black or white. Spend your life trying to understand the greys as well :)

None of the content of this blog is intended to insult any of our readers and is only the point of view of the author.

3 thoughts on “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

  1. عزيزتي faithq8

    أحييك على هذا الموضوع الأكثر من رائع والكلام المنطقي جدا ، وغن كنت أتمنى ان يكون موضوعك بالعربي لأن كلامك موزون وجميل

    وصراحة ماقصرتي على التوضيح لبعض الامور الخاطئة التي يعتقدها بعض الناس انها من المذهب الشيعي

    أتمنى انج تكثرين من مواضيع بهذا المستوى الجميل وما تكونين كسوله مثلي في الكتابة :)
    تحياتي

  2. Mashkoor 3ala hatha elkalam w hatha mn tho8ek :)
    ana ba3ad atmana eni aktb bel3arabi bas enshalla at8awa bel lo8a :$

    ta7yati right back atchya ;)

  3. أسلوب راقي .. طرح موزون ..
    بهذه الكلمات .. تلخيصي للموضوع ..
    ..
    نشكر الكاتبة الجديدة
    faithq8
    التي و بكل تأكيد سـ تكون إضافة رائعة للمدونة
    ..
    بالاضافة إلى آنها الصوت النسائي السليم في الدونة
    ..
    نقاط الموضوع ممتازة ولا غبار عليها ..
    ..
    ننتظر جديد قلمكِ
    ..
    تحياتيــ

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